Fr John Main, the first leader of the Christian Meditation
Community, wrote (slightly amended by me):
The call to prayer, the call to
meditation is precisely a call to grow up, to leave the ego-centered (person)
behind and to become (more truly) ourselves.
In contemplation, reason,
memory and will, all start coming to rest.
We are not taking leave of our reason, memory, will, mental images,
opinions, intentions and plans and agendas.
They all remain important parts of our lives, of course. But not in prayer. In prayer the issues are simplicity,
stillness, silence, paying attention, consent to God.
If we have a personal discipline of contemplative prayer, then a
process has begun in which our life is becoming more unified, simplified,
clarified --quieter, more purposeful, less fearful. Something begins to happen to the person at
prayer, once images, religious visions and dreams, inner speeches, and pious
thoughts, and our assumptions about what we control, are set aside. The point of the mantra is that it assists us
to set aside what we don’t need right now.
Perhaps what impresses me most about this process is that while it
sounds like some violent inner revolution, in practice it is gentle. It initiates changes which happen
unobtrusively and which we typically see in retrospect. Other people may notice such changes before
we do. I mention this because most of us
at our time of life are not really looking for drama or abrupt changes. Most of us are not running around unhappy
with ourselves to any great extent, nor are we desperately seeking solutions
and answers. We are not trying to make
an impression or pioneer great reforms.
But it does matter to us that we are true and steady, and that our deepest
inner Christian allegiance is authentic and not some sad thin charade after all
these years.
The church makes a condescending nod to contemplative life and
prayer, usually – except for that
section of the church which is really quite afraid of silence and stillness,
and regards it as suspect or even dangerous.
Most priests, pastors, preachers, however, although they may
intellectually understand something of the place of contemplative life and
prayer in Christian history, still opt more for activism. People understand being busy. Much of the church’s worship tends to be quite
busy and occupational. It can be loud,
innovative, involving.
So even in the church, contemplatives and
seekers need to find our own sources of teaching and inspiration. It’s helpful to know that we are not
alone. I think it is why groups such as
this matter.
As I was practicing the last of our 18-day challenge meditations this morning, I realized that I am the "difficult person" that I live with on an even more intimate level than the "difficult person" I always think of whom I see at work most days of the week! I have always heard that difficult people are a mirror for what one finds unacceptable in oneself, but this time I really saw it! I also saw that the "I" who was witnessing this unruly child in Meditation Blogsme could send her lovingkindness thoughts as a loving parent might embrace and comfort a child. That "I" who was witnessing all this is bigger, more spacious, kinder, gentler than that "child". I AM the guide and the abandoned child who seeks to be loved, and find a home, safe in the arms of something bigger, and I am the "something bigger". This is a real breakthrough for me! Thank you!
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