21 June 2019

That piece of You – 21 June 2019


In this group, as we know, we have much reason to celebrate meaning and happiness in life.  We know also, however, people who feel generally insecure and menaced, afraid of the future.  Ageing, for one thing, has its nasty surprises… but long before senior years, for many, there are bleak fears of what could happen, or of managing what has happened.  We seem also to have now a generation centred on self, not so much intending to be selfish, but simply that they don’t see meaning except as things affect them.  There are other places where meaning boils down to the bliss of having a home in peace, and the means to feed and raise the children. 

There is something to learn from Etty Hillesum.  She was a young somewhat unconventional Dutch woman who voluntarily ministered to Jews and others in Nazi-occupied Holland.  Eventually she died, in Auschwitz.  She wrote in her diary[1] (it was her prayer, she talks directly to God): …one thing is becoming increasingly clear to me: that You cannot help us, that we must help You ourselves.  And that is all we can manage these days and also all that really matters: that we safeguard that piece of You, God, in ourselves…  You cannot help us, but we must help You and defend Your dwelling place inside us to the last. 

Now, the point about that quote is not whether we agree with it.  We were not there.  Etty Hillesum was reflecting an utterly desperate situation which she was sharing with many others.  The point is to listen to what she writes, to catch its wisdom and truth.  She is far away from the religion that wants solutions, looks for miracles, for signs and wonders, for interventions to make things right again.  She says that the Light is within, and that we are guardians of the Light.  That Light is our meaning, and we shouldn’t lose it.  The light shines in the darkness, wrote John, and the darkness has not overcome it.[2]  Etty Hillesum wrote this again later in her diary: Alas, there doesn’t seem to be much You Yourself can do about our circumstances, about our lives. Neither do I hold You responsible. You cannot help us, but we must help You and defend Your dwelling place in us to the last.

I think Etty Hillesum points us in the right direction.  Our important task in grown-up faith is to have learned how to be still, to sit light to the religious chatter and superstitions, to revise those things we “always thought”, and locate the Light that is already within, what Etty Hillesum called that piece of You, God, in ourselves.  John’s Gospel calls it the light that enlightens everyone.[3]  Jesus describes it as a mutual abiding, I in them and you in methey in us.[4]  It is very moving to realise that all this young woman had, now in Auschwitz, was that -- the stillness and attention in which she steadied, and knew herself reconnected with herself, with her friends, and with God.



[1] Etty, A Diary 1941-43 (Jonathan Cape 1983)
[2] John 1:5
[3] John 1:9
[4] John 17:21-23

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