03 November 2017

Loving my neighbour…3 November 2017


The discussion last Friday brought us once again to the practicalities of a consistent Christian life... questions asked by people who live in the real world.  Living with neighbours, for instance, as we know, can turn into a bracing test of Christian behaviour.  We can become bewildered and confused by anger, it may be, or frustration or defeat.  A neighbour who won’t cut down a tree… a neighbour who does cut down a tree… a neighbour who defaults to abuse… a neighbour who has drunken parties… 

One of our really effective teachers, Esther de Waal, has written about what she calls pausing at the threshold.[1]  Esther de Waal is an Anglican, a Benedictine Oblate and a writer also on Celtic spirituality.  She lives in the Welsh borders.  She says there are different kinds of lines in the sand, as it were.  You can have, for instance, a boundary.  A boundary is probably there for a reason and it is to be respected.  The American poet, Robert Frost, wrote about boundaries, Something there is that doesn’t love a wall, that wants it down…  but then he quotes his neighbour who simply says, Good fences make good neighbours.   Or you can have a frontier.  That is another matter.  A frontier says, Stay out!  It says, if you want to come in you must seek permission.  The President of the United States is making a frontier, 10 metres high, between the USA and Mexico.  Huge prefabricated sections are already being tested.   Or thirdly, you can have a borderland.   A borderland is a meeting place where different people, cultures and histories, ways of life, languages, races, encounter and learn from each other.  So a borderland will be where people might change their minds or alter their opinions.  At any rate, you can’t be sure of the outcome of your hospitality.

Moreover, in a borderland, what happens on the border happens also personally and interiorly.  We have borders, lines in the sand, not only between our properties, or between countries, but in our minds and hearts.  If the border within, as it were, is a borderland, then you know to practise hospitality, as the scriptures understand that word.  You are not afraid of the meeting of ideas and opinions, or different creeds or races.  As Esther de Waal points out, you still have your own boundaries within – you know who you are, you know what is unresolved within you and you are giving hospitality also to your doubts, fears and frailties.  An inner borderland is an open mind.  But if it is a frontier it is not open, it will be threatened by change, perhaps even by truth.

In practical terms then, if our inner boundaries are a borderland, then we are always available for listening.  Perhaps we want to understand what lies behind abuse or intransigence.  We discern when to leave well alone.  We do what we can always for peace and understanding.  We come to any encounter in the borderland as people of prayer, of the meeting of silence and stillness.  It is not a magic formula, it doesn’t solve everything – but it is the way we live.



[1] Esther de Waal: To Pause At The Threshold – Reflections on Living on the Border (Morehouse, 2001).

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